Title: Hardened Criminals
Rating: G
Word Count: 206
Summary: Mal doesn't want the crew to know what their cargo is.
Notes: Written as one (of hopefully two) of allfireburns's Christmas fics. Love you, ai ren.
Disclaimer: I'm not Joss. So I don't own them. Gorramit.

"I want to get this done with before anyone starts askin' what we're carrying, you understand?"

"Absolutely, sir."

"We are hardened criminals and I don't want knowin' to affect my crew in any way."

"I completely agree, sir."

"I don't know why Li Mei feels the need to smuggle these things near halfway 'cross the 'verse." Mal grumbled as he and Zoe left the hold where Jayne, Simon, and Kaylee were stowing Serenity's newest cargo.

"Don't rightly know, sir." Zoe said dryly, following after him. "Might be a way of gettin' out of taxes."

"Might be so." Mal shook his head. "I just hope no one gets a look at it, or—" He was cut off by a crash, followed closely by a string of curses and Simon's calm voice asking if anything felt broken.

"Hey, are those... Hey, 'Nara!" Kaylee's voice rang out cheerfully above Jayne's rather colorful language. "Come look at these, they're adorable!"

Mal didn't turn around. He just stood in the doorway leading out of the hold and sighed.

"Zoe?"

"Yes sir?"

"What're they lookin' at?"

"Wobbly headed geisha dolls, sir."

"Thought so. I'm goin' to go to my bunk, see if I can salvage my dignity."

"You do that, sir."